Don’t touch my hair

I love my hair because it’s a reflection of my soul. It’s dense, it’s kinky, it’s soft, it’s textured, it’s difficult, it’s easy and it’s fun. That’s why I love my hair.”
-Tracee Ellis Ross

As a young girl my hair was my pride and joy. it was kinky jet black and long. until one day my mother decided to trust a non black woman to do my hair to save a drive to Eugene oregon several times a month to take me to a black hair salon. which was always a treat for me because well i was not around black people in Roseburg. I was really excited to get my hair permed. to have my hair straight and flowing like my two sisters. The deed was done my hair looked great but after a couple of times my hair started breaking off and falling out. So we had to cut it take off all of the damage. my hair was cut so short i felt I looked like a boy. Thats kind of whem my confidence in my outter beauty was shot. I felt like i was never going to be as pretty as my friends or my sisters.

Hands always coming towards me.
While walking around my small town in Roseburg I seemed to always be a center of attention. I always felt people’s eyes following me staring at me as I would walk into the grocery store with Mom. Everywhere I went there would be eyes questioning if what they were seeing was accurate a black child and a white mom. A lot of times those questioning eyes would turn into hands that would touch my hair and ask questions. I was a pretty shy kiddo so for me to tell people no was really hard for me even though I hated when people where in my space I never found the voice to be able to tell people no.until i became a teenager. so for the time being my amazing mother was my voice and hands to swat people away and tell them please do not touch.

It never really made any sense as to why people were drawn to touching me.. i was a child didnt people know their boundaries. they were adults for crying out loud. As I got older i did become more vocal about people stepping into my space a couple times i would just touch peoples hair after they touched me and then they would get the picture. the faces after I touched their heair were quite epic. mortified that i touch them. i would just look at them smile say. see now you know how i feel. dont touch me and dont touch my hair

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